R-E-L-A-X, It’s Almost Christmas

R-E-L-A-X . . .

We all remember quarterback Aaron Rodgers spelling out this calming five-letter word to panicking Packers fans after a not so pretty start to the 2014 NFL season. Of course, they went on to make the playoffs that year where they beat my Cowboys on a pass that Dez DEFINITELY CAUGHT!

But I’m not mad. We got our payback this year, whipping them in their own house. By the way, Green Bay, it’s not looking too hot for you guys. Detroit is leading the division with a 5-4 record, and they didn’t even play this weekend!


But I’m getting off topic here. This post isn’t about the Green Bay Packers, or football; it’s about Donald Trump. Yes, president-elect, Donald Trump. The phrase itself is petrifying.

Less than a week ago, we watched in horror as the American people elected a man with absolutely zero experience in government president of the most powerful country in the world. College graduates everywhere are now demanding that the 3-5 year work experience requirement on entry level jobs be nixed. Closeted racists have grown a pair overnight and are holding KKK rallies in a town near you (Have you been to a Trump rally? They’re basically the same), while the LGBT community fears they may have to return to the closet. Mexican immigrants, Muslim Americans, and even some blacks are terrified they’ll be shipped off to a country they’ve never called home. Women are preparing to say goodbye to the ownership of their own bodies. And the rest of the world is starting at their TVs going, “What the actual fuck, America?”


I should back up and say that the American people didn’t actually elect Trump. Hillary won the popular vote, while Trump won the Electoral College. So for the second time in my lifetime, the Electoral College has screwed us over. And I can’t help but go back to my IB US History of the Americas class in high school, when my teacher flat out told us that the Electoral College was created because our founding fathers (the fathers of American Democracy—oh, the irony!) didn’t trust a 100% popular vote; they didn’t think the American citizens (white male land owners) were smart enough to pick the right guy.

And after poor, uneducated working-class whites apparently came out in droves to vote for Trump, it still wasn’t quite enough to give him the edge over Hillary with the people. Lucky our outdated American democratic system was there to save him, eh?

Boy, if the founding fathers could see us now . . . but then again, they probably would’ve voted for Trump too. A woman president?! Who ever heard of such!

You can't always get what you want...
You can’t always get what you want…

But it’s been a week, and now that the initial shock of having Donald Trump follow the first African American president into the White House has blown over, I really have no feelings one way or the other about how these next four years will turn out. I’m actually more upset that I was forced to buy overpriced health insurance that doesn’t cover anything just to avoid paying a fine (that for me was probably the cheaper option), only for the whole shebang to get repealed Trump’s first day in office.

So, um, is it too late to unenroll?

But seriously, I’m fine. I’m not moving to Canada. I’m not expressing my grievances on Facebook through an unrelenting series of posts and reshares. I’m not signing a petition to get Trump booted out. To be honest, I’m not afraid of Trump. It’s the people who voted for him that I’m worried about. Trump has always been an arrogant man. He ran for president simply because he could, and he took advantage of the anger of a lot of people. People who, depending on how these next four years turn out, may come to regret their vote. And for a moment, let’s explore the option that Trump was elected not because America is full of racists (even though she is), but because nobody trusts Hillary. Even I spent almost ten minutes at the ballot debating whether or not to vote for Hillary, or write in Bernie Sanders. I think a lot of Democrats went through that same dilemma. We’re sick of the status quo. We want something different, something radical. At least I do.

Unfortunately for the Republicans, that came in the form of a President Donald Trump. If only they knew the monster they created . . .

For now, I’m gonna enjoy the final months of the coolest first family ever, and laugh til I cry at these hilarious Obama-Biden memes.

By the way, only 41 more days til Christmas! My local radio station has already switched over to the holiday music, and while I often complain about how commercialism starts the Christmas promos too soon after Halloween, this year, I welcome an early Christmas. Smile! Laugh! Be Merry! Get drunk on eggnog! I’m sick of all this doom and gloom. OK, the Don is going to be our next president. We’ll deal with that when it gets here. There’s still time for him to come out and say (or in Trump fashion, tweet), “So about this president thing . . . Gotcha!”

Until then, it’s almost Christmas, and I’m eager to get into the holiday spirit.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

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